how do you handle a friend that has cut ties with you? what is my responsibility to keep up with people? how is it even possible to keep up with people across the country?
today is the birthday of one of my friends that i met while we both were teaching in chicago. this guy had a tendency to take things a step further than i ever would, but he is generally funny and likable. but after TFA i haven't really spoken to him. i'm not sure if that's a me thing or a him thing, or a male thing, or a millenial thing, or all of these things combined. but i also feel like it's not like he has reached out and i have ignored him or anything - we are just not in the same place anymore. our friendship has become less convenient. kind of sad, but true.
i feel this way about a lot of my "friends", usually to a lesser degree that what was previously discussed, but to a degree nonetheless. it's almost like a lot of my friends - from high school, from college, from TFA - have drifted away due to geographic distance, but even when we are close it's not like it used to be. so much of friendship is proximity, and i think the idea that i'm getting to is that because my location has spent so little time being fixed in the last year, I haven't really felt close to much of anyone in a while. i'm still in this transient stage of my career, where i'm just now getting my architecture-legs (think sea legs, but building buildings), and i'm moving around without any real roots - in a state of constant transplant from pot to pot. and it's not that i'm not thriving in a particular pot, but it's like i have to be re-potted every 4 months against my will in order to end up in the pot that i can eventually call home. this evolved into a weird plant metaphor, but i don't hate it.
today is the birthday of one of my friends that i met while we both were teaching in chicago. this guy had a tendency to take things a step further than i ever would, but he is generally funny and likable. but after TFA i haven't really spoken to him. i'm not sure if that's a me thing or a him thing, or a male thing, or a millenial thing, or all of these things combined. but i also feel like it's not like he has reached out and i have ignored him or anything - we are just not in the same place anymore. our friendship has become less convenient. kind of sad, but true.
i feel this way about a lot of my "friends", usually to a lesser degree that what was previously discussed, but to a degree nonetheless. it's almost like a lot of my friends - from high school, from college, from TFA - have drifted away due to geographic distance, but even when we are close it's not like it used to be. so much of friendship is proximity, and i think the idea that i'm getting to is that because my location has spent so little time being fixed in the last year, I haven't really felt close to much of anyone in a while. i'm still in this transient stage of my career, where i'm just now getting my architecture-legs (think sea legs, but building buildings), and i'm moving around without any real roots - in a state of constant transplant from pot to pot. and it's not that i'm not thriving in a particular pot, but it's like i have to be re-potted every 4 months against my will in order to end up in the pot that i can eventually call home. this evolved into a weird plant metaphor, but i don't hate it.
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