Know what is incredibly frustrating? I just can't do it all. There just doesn't seem to be enough time in one day to accomplish the things that I want to do. I'm sick of feeling inadequate. But the problem goes further than this - if I actually do step up and do the things that I am supposed to do when I am supposed to do them, I have the most dull life in the history of the world. Literally skull-numbingly dull. I can't just go to grad school, do all of the grad school homework, be a teacher (not the biggest responsiblity in the world or anything), be a friend, be a brother, be a son, take care of adult responsibilities, do laundry, make my bed, cook myself dinner, put dishes in the dishwasher, practice personal hygiene, clean our house, and take care of mindless errands as my day to day life. And yes, I just forgot to include sleeping as a part of that list.
Yes, I am capable of doing all of the things that I just listed and only doing those things. But why do they have to co-exist with a fulfilling life? To preserve my sanity, I feel like I have to slack on that list by going to the gym, watching netflix, spending time on Facebook and Twitter, watching regular TV, playing angry birds, read interesting books, blog, etc. But then I get caught in this vicious cycle that not completing all of my assigned tasks just takes a giant dump on my mood and life. It's really less than ideal.
I had such high ambitions for today, and 1st period has so discouraged me that I want to take the rest of the day off and just lay in bed, not responding to any phone calls or texts, and just be. You read that correctly, I just want to be. To exist. To think about nothing. A la office space.
Yes, I am capable of doing all of the things that I just listed and only doing those things. But why do they have to co-exist with a fulfilling life? To preserve my sanity, I feel like I have to slack on that list by going to the gym, watching netflix, spending time on Facebook and Twitter, watching regular TV, playing angry birds, read interesting books, blog, etc. But then I get caught in this vicious cycle that not completing all of my assigned tasks just takes a giant dump on my mood and life. It's really less than ideal.
I had such high ambitions for today, and 1st period has so discouraged me that I want to take the rest of the day off and just lay in bed, not responding to any phone calls or texts, and just be. You read that correctly, I just want to be. To exist. To think about nothing. A la office space.
